LOVE Yourself: Liz Farrar
I’ve known Liz for over 10 years and I can honestly say she’s one of my favorite people. She’s one of those friends you want on your side and feel SO lucky that she’s on “your team.” Liz is a no nonsense kind of gal, but in the most loving and supportive way. She just tells you like it is while cheering you on. My goal with this LOVE Yourself movement is to highlight those that have a positive body image to encourage others to STOP talking negative about our bodies. I’ve never heard Liz speak badly about her body and as you will read below she’s had some physical challenges with child bearing years and such. Enjoy learning about my dear friend Liz and her authentic journey in loving herself!
1. What does LOVE yourself mean to you?
To me, loving myself means I am humbled and grateful for the “self” I have. I am so amazed by how intricately our bodies have been designed and so hugely thankful for what mine can do! It’s maybe less about my outward appearance and more about my body in its full state (body, mind, soul) as the vehicle that carries me through the life I’ve been given.
2. Did you have someone that exuded a positive body image for you growing up? A family member, friend, mentor, etc.
Not specifically, no. I think my biggest example may be the opposite of positive body image from all around for the last 20+ years. We must have talked so badly about ourselves the first six weeks of college that I found it necessary to write a note out on paper, xerox it (remember that?!), and tape it to the front doors on my hall. I still have that letter and part of it reads:
“How are we going to learn each others’ pasts, our fears, our pains, our regrets, our joys, our hopes, etc. if all we ever talk about when we are together is how fat and ugly we think we are?! Answer: we’re not! So, give it up! No one on this hall has any right to NOT find at least one beautiful thing about themselves EVERY day. It is totally fine to try and eat right and encourage each other to look our best; but whining and disliking ourselves is NOT the path towards respect for ourselves and each other!”
So, I guess the answer is… I didn’t have that one person and I want to be that person for others.
3. Do you tear your body apart vocally?
Short answer… I used to, but I don’t anymore. Long answer... there were years where I felt like I had to speak badly about myself to be part of the conversation. When fitting in meant always being on a diet and talking about it. When feeling bad about myself made me look good. I don’t say that lightly, because some of my dearest are in the middle of this struggle even now. I hate that the message of our society is “you are not good enough” and it is so strong and so prevalent and it’s forced down our throats and we almost have to buy into it. To be simply content is an outlier mentality it seems.
This is not to say that I am perfectly thrilled with my outward appearance in its present state. I’ve been pregnant with, birthed, and nursed four babies in 9 years. I’ve badly turned an ankle twice, torn two hamstrings (and had them surgically repaired and then rehabbed), and had Bell’s Palsy in the last 3 years. My weight isn’t ideal. My face isn’t ideal. And Yet…
I am so grateful. I have seen the flipside. The fact that my body can carry babies and birth them. That I can nurse them. That I can mostly recover from Bell’s Palsy and ankles and hamstrings. That I can spin and throw and lift and carry my big kids all over the place. My body is a tool for my life. And it’s the only one I get. And I am grateful for it.
4. Are you working to improve your mindset around body image or is it a neutral mindset for you?
As my husband has said since we got married… “we are in a constant state of improvement.” I feel like I’m constantly learning in this area. About how to see myself as a whole person. About how to embrace my seasons of life and live them in their time, caring about the future but not worrying about it. I believe there are periods of time throughout this life for everything. There are times for improvement and times for rest. And, in those times of growth, nothing can change in any lasting way from a place of misery and unhappiness and discontent. So, in the seasons of rest, I will be content. Bottom line… yes, it is a consistent area of growth for me!
5. Do you have anyone that you are trying to set a healthy example for?
Absolutely! I have a 9 year old son and 3 daughters (ages 6, 3 and 8 months). I want them to know that they are fully and completely loved in any physical state. To teach them to be grateful for — and care for — their bodies. That we are given one life to live and it is a beautiful gift!
with LOVE and grace,
Elizabeth